The notion that “strong black women” can turn off their strength to be available for help is misguided. Strength is not a switch that can be easily toggled on and off, especially not to appease others. It is important to understand that our habits and behaviors are not simple actions we completely control; they profoundly impact our lives, much like addiction.

Another factor that must be taken into consideration is whether or not there is space for the black woman to be different. The self of the black woman is a response to our culture and social environment. We have been forced to be strong and self-sufficient. Who we are as black women is not a switch.

As black women, our strength has become ingrained in our DNA through generations of practice. It is not something that can be switched off. Instead, we must focus on retraining and determining how to accept help when needed.

Accepting help involves identifying the areas where we struggle and being open to receiving assistance. It doesn’t mean devaluing our strengths to make others feel comfortable in our presence.

However, it is crucial to recognize that we cannot simply discard the aspects of ourselves that have shaped who we are today. Our identity culminates in various factors, including upbringing, societal expectations, and life experiences.

Changing ourselves requires self-reflection, introspection, and a willingness to challenge our deeply ingrained beliefs and behaviors. It is a process of unlearning and relearning.

Transforming ourselves also requires patience and understanding. It is not an overnight journey but a continuous process of self-discovery and growth. We must acknowledge our imperfections and be willing to seek help when necessary. Embracing vulnerability and accepting support from others is essential.

While we cannot control all external influences, we can take charge of our personal development. Surrounding ourselves with positive influences, seeking growth opportunities, and prioritizing self-care and self-improvement are all within our control.

Essentially, it is not about turning off our strength or erasing who we are. It is about harnessing our strength in a way that allows us to be receptive to help and support when needed. True strength lies in our ability to adapt and grow, not invincibility. By embracing change and shaping ourselves into the best versions of who we are meant to be, we can continue to evolve and thrive.